Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
 1 tsp baking soda
 1 cup of sugar
 1 tsp salt
 1 cup or brown sugar
 4 large eggs
 1 cup nuts
 2 cups of dried fruit
 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
 
 
 Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
 check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,
 pour one level cup and drink.
 
 Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter
 in a large fluffy bowl.  
 
 Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At thispoint
 it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try another
 cup just in case.
 
 Turn off the mixerer thingy.
 
 Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
 cup of dried fruit.   Pick the frigging fruit off the floor.
 
 Mix on the turner. 
  
 If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pry
 it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to
 check for tonsisticity.
 
 Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who
geeves a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the
lemon juice and strain your nuts. 
  
 Add one table.
 
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you
can find.
 
Greash the oven.
 
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall
 over.
 
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
 
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish
the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the
 wishdasher. 
  
 Cherry Mistmas !